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Joke of the Day

"Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie... ... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses."

"What's the difference between a group of intelligent midgets and a girls xc team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."

"If any one is starting a band, let me know, I'm really good at taking pictures while looking off in the distance."

"What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ? A sourpuss !"

"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Is your wife buying too many shoes? Cut her feet off. There, done."

"Why aren't lions cannibals? They can't swallow their pride."

"How do ghosts become friends? They bond over boos. I made this up while sleep-deprived last night. I am sorry."

"What do you call a dead baby hanging on a wall? Art"

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down."