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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a group of intelligent midgets and a girls xc team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."

"I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

"White girls really love their Pumpkin Spice. Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice president!"

"There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren't invited to."

"What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet? Lieutenant"

"Someone once told me my best features were my smile and personality If I don't have a mouth I'm fucked"

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"Laser hair removal? Uhhh, why would anyone with laser hair ever want to get it removed?"

"*crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*"

"A Psychic Buying Clothes Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium."