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Joke of the Day

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down."

"Listen, I hate you... I'm just not... IN hate with you."

"If you played pokemon in Brazil, you might catch a Zikachu"

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"

"I pretty much spend all day, every day, just looking forward to going back to sleep."

"A pickup like I thought of when i was younger. If I was a duck and you were a fish, and we were swimming in the same pond, what would that make me? On top of you."

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked but don't worry, another study says you're just being paranoid."

"I just bought a new boomerang How do I get rid of the old one ?"

"I should've been a sniper. They get to lie around all day and hardly lift a finger."