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Joke of the Day

"A ghost walks into a bar and howls Sorry sir' the barmen replies.""We don't serve spirits after eleven"""

"Q: What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months? A: An Apple turnover."

"Judging by the size of her models, I'm guessing Victoria's Secret is lots and lots of cocaine."

"Did you know that Rosa Parks died because... She refused to get in the back of an ambulance"

"Q: How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one if he's got a good crew to do it."

"I see your sister's sick burn and raise you mine. ""If you're gonna be a dick, wear a condom over your head."" She's 9."

"This will probably get buried. . . It's a coffin."

"Poor tradesman... ...blame his fools. I mean tools. Fuckin keyboard"

"I hate two types of people... haters and hypocrites."

"Do you know what the one vegetable that isn't actually vegan is? Terry Schiavo."