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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the one vegetable that isn't actually vegan is? Terry Schiavo."

"What's the difference between an auto-corrected exclamation of amazement and an act of liking men? One is ducking sick, the other is sucking d..."

"I sat next to the Duchess at tea... It was just as I thought it would be: Her rumblings abdominal Were simply phenomenal And everyone thought it was me."

"Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer. Time to update my display to 4K."

"What do you call a huge pile of cats? A Meow-tain!"

"my dad told me this one Helen Keller walks into a bar, then a table , then a chair"

"Hey Feminazis, I sprained my wrist jet-skiing this weekend, so you can shut up about the ""pain of childbirth."""

"Alexa, tell me a dirty joke The patron tells the waiter ""this coffee tastes like mud"". The waiter replies ""yes sir, it is fresh ground""."

"This morning I found out the terrible news about David Bowie, He released a new album."

"What's gonna happen if Hilary Clinton gets elected as President. The kitchen staff are gonna wonder why she's missing."