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Joke of the Day

"The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, ""I think the romance in this relationship is dead."" I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank."

"How do you make Holy Water? You boil the Hell out of it."

"What's Sam Smith's favorite type of nut? [It's an alllllllllmond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB63ztKnGvo&feature=youtu.be&t=37s)"

"My friend stopped making payments to his exorcist. He was soon repossessed."

"ECHO! ECHO! ECHO! Hahaha. Just kidding Tina! But in all seriousness that's quite a serious infection you have here. - Me as a Gynaecologist"

"My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles Straight until you get them wet."

"What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker? They both take away the coffin."

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."

"Paddy and Michael are out walking when Paddy falls down a well.... Michael shouts down ""Paddy! have you broken anything???"" Paddy replies ""No! there's nothing down here to break!"""

"The women protest movement this weekend was historical. I've never seen so many women have PMS on the same day."