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Joke of the Day

"What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker? They both take away the coffin."

"My leg got amputated Me: Can I take my leg home doc.? Doc.: Why? Me: Because is my right."

"My anniversary is coming up Friday is my anniversary, I'll have been married for 35 years. Really it only 5 years, but I count in dog years because my wife is such a bitch."

"What's the difference between a chick with a dick and a guy with tits? Empty testicals."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two but you're going to need a damn big lightbulb."

"What's the definition of a school report? A poison pen letter from the principal."

"Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to ""like"" their status."

"I only smoke for the health tips from complete motherfucking strangers"

"Had a little dog named Mustard, he didn't relish me so he ran away. I couldn't catch up."

"A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!"