126179

Joke of the Day

"My friend stopped making payments to his exorcist. He was soon repossessed."

"How many doors are on a chicken coop? Two. If there were four, it would be a chicken sedan"

"A man killed himself to find out what the afterlife was like. He was dying to know!"

"Two blondes at the movie:"" Pst, the guy next to me is masturbating!""says one ""just ignore him"" answers her friend. ""But I can't ! He's using my hand!""replies the first blonde"

"Who's Zombies greatest enemy? Necrophiliacs"

"Genie: You have 3 wishes. I don't want to run into spiderwebs anymore. That's it.... I'm done. You can keep the other 2 wishes."

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet"

"Yelp Review: Babies Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend."

"I received a text message from an unknown number ""I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I met someone else. Please don't call me anymore!"" ... Even other people's girlfriends are dumping me now"