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Joke of the Day

"I used to date a midget... I was nuts over her"

"What type of grapes to Indians like? Gangrapes Edit: do*"

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."

"[screaming over sirens] I SAID ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT ""FIGHTING"" THE FIRE YOU'RE WATERING IT"

"""My god,"" I whisper as the food arrives. ""Just as the prophecy foretold."""

"Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!"

"What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave? Namaste."

"I didn't go through four years of grad school for this! (I didn't go to grad school.)"

"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"

"Alzheimer Joke (Not sure if repost.)"