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Joke of the Day

"So a guy orders a pizza. . ..they ask him, ""would you like that cut into six pieces or eight? He says, ""Oh, six! I could never eat eight."""

"There once was a girl from Nantucket... Who carried her ice in a bucket. She walked down a hill. She had a great spill. And when she got up, she said, ""I'm going to watch my step next time!"""

"Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone's battery."

"""You'll never see him coming!"" - Quote by Stevie Wonder"

"Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on, and not to be covered in Baby Oil!!"

"Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it."

"Customer: Waiter this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh sir."

"I was sitting in traffic today and I got run over."

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes."

"Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ? Round of 16"