205167

Joke of the Day

"Jesus might love me but my girlfriend gives me blowjobs so religion is stupid."

"How did the Italians lose WWII? They ordered ziti instead of shells."

"Did you hear about the houseboat that crashed? Everything but the kitchen sank! lol it's shitty but this is what happens when i zone out at work"

"Where did little Timmy go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"I wanted to be a pilot in the air force But they said I didn't have the right altitude."

"I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, ""Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."""

"What is an adulterers favorite snack? Cheetos."

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna"

"Libraries are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk."

"What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help? ""This is not a drill!"""