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Joke of the Day

"""I'm terribly sorry but your husband overdosed on Flintstones vitamins"" ""oh my god...is he ok?"" ""I'm afraid not. he...yabba dabba died lmao"""

"I heard a woman remarking that she had worn ""the wrong bra today"". Ladies, as long as there are boobs in it, the bra is always right."

"How to have an unforgettable date? 1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it."

"How do you tell who the extroverted engineers are? They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you."

"Arianna Huffington said Donald Trump is not getting enough sleep, so why isn't he getting enough sleep? Apparently not having enough **Melania**tonin at night!"

"Why was the fish processing factory built beside the computer factory? So that they could make fish and chips."

"Some people are like Slinkys... Totally useless, but still fun to push down the stairs."

"Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year."

"What do you do if an Elephant breaks his big toe? Call a big toe truck."

"If you're out of wallpaper, you can always resort to using a few rolls of duct tape for that nice silver look."