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Joke of the Day

"Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year."

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me... ...to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"BUNGEE JUMPING $25 per person. @$$holes get in FREE! No strings attached."

"What's a boxers favorite joke? Punchline."

"wife: Did you get the cat out of the tree? me [bleeding] Wasn't a cat"

"Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed? Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me."

"""Dear God, make me a bird, so I can..."" *turns into penguin* ""DAMMIT I WASN'T FINISHED!"""

"Dad Joke - Did the melon get married without permission? No, it Cantelope."

"It really creeps me out the way my neighbor stares at me when I'm looking through her window."

"A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register"