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Joke of the Day

"If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month."

"Becoming a vegetarian Is a big missed steak"

"What do you call a digital video recorder that cuts down trees and builds dams? A bvr"

"1 fist bump from a cool black dude = 5 years of my white parents loving me."

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"

"What does a prostitute ask a man with his mouthful? Come again?"

"Why women mature faster than men? Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old."

"I have a very particular set of skills, skills I acquired over a long career. Skills that - ugh hold on *covers phone* MOM I'M ON THE PHONE!"

"Bernie Sanders said it's time for him to cut the BS His new name is Ernie Anders"

"My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz."