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Joke of the Day

"Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. ."

"If you've ever taken a baby to a movie, please set yourself on fire. Thanks."

"What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I need friends."

"Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"What Do You Call A Mexican From The Caribbean? A Carabiner"

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"This is probably the best idea I've had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid"

"Who was the roundest knight at the Round Table? Sir Cumference"

"Jared Fogle Of Subway Started and Ended His Career The Same Way. Trying to get into smaller pants."

"""See, son, when an Ice Ice Man and an Ice Ice Woman love each other very much..."" - Vanilla Ice explaining where Ice Ice Babies come from"