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Joke of the Day

"A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse."

"Well Aaron Hernandez used to be a ""tight-end""... Now he's a wide receiver"

"When they ask me in a job interview what my greatest weakness is, I always say that I can't open my eyes under water"

"Girl, if you were a camel, I'd hump you!"

"What do you call a gay Dinosaur? Dead."

"My ex-girlfriend often told me to stop being so competitive. Like I was ever going to let her come first."

"What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl in the 1940s? With a dustpan."

"Why did Adele cross the road?? To say hello from the other side."

"You can tell that a train has a gambling problem... When it spends all its time at the track."

"Not to brag, but according to this food packaging I just ate enough fancy cashews to serve 638 people."