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Joke of the Day

"If you wear a cape to a meal, you can spin it around to the front and have a full sized bib for eating"

"4k tvs? no thanks i only need one"

"It's hard to sleep with all the girls knocking on my door at night. I eventually had to let them out."

"I would help you carry some of those bushes... but I've already got two palms on my hands."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger become after he resigned as Governor of California? An ex-terminator."

"Why French Fighter jet are name phantom? Because they don't exist."

"Global warming is partially bullshit. About 18% http://www.fao.org/ag/magazine/0612sp1.htm"

"Why do ducks try to avoid eating out? They're always stuck with a bill."

"Why was the rooster angry? He just found his chicken strips. (Courtesy of my creative bartender pal)"

"My wife said that my pen!s closely resembles a Tic Tac. She was proud of her remark until I asked her why her sister still has bad breath then."