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Joke of the Day

"*comes home from poker night earlier than usual looks at wife while picking up the dog and leaves without saying anything*"

"What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

"Why do toilets flush after getting pissed on? They get embarrassed."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well I can't jelly my dick up your ass"

"My girlfriend left me for a Hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better they worship cows."

"Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break? So it won't get too Messi."

"The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me."

"I tried learning braille, but it was really tough. Those bumps are hard to see"

"Geology rocks but making holes in rocks is boring."

"Physics 101: Heat expands objects.. You're fat.. you're hot"