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Joke of the Day

"Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg bump into each other, say sorry awkwardly, then try to sidestep each other but keep stepping the same way."

"I like to send out texts saying ""Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?"" Just to see who`s dumb enough."

"My GPS thinks we should see other drivers."

"A really funny joke. http://youtu.be/h8ycKKA7LZI A work-in-progress from my stand-up set. Tell me what you think!"

"What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Poop."

"I used to be able to stop cars with mind Getting hit by one took that away"

"You're in love? Cool, I'm in sweatpants."

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver."

"I'll never forget the cooking time for my supermarket brand spaghetti... 9-11 minutes"

"""I'm sorry"" and ""my bad"" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral."