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Joke of the Day
"I used to be able to stop cars with mind Getting hit by one took that away"
Next Joke
"I don't like drive-thru's I think it's money out the window."
"My girlfriend says she's leaving me because I'm obsess with football In my defence I got Kolarov,Otamendi,Thiago Silva and Dani Alves"
"I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar."
"I've been informed by TSA that my man-bun is not allowed on the plane. They fear a riot from horny women clamoring to sit next to me"
"People that proudly carry their yoga mats around town... I get it. I carry my Burrito around with that same pride."
"Steve Jobs will be back He's an Android afterall."
"So, they're going to combine Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter into one website. It's going to be called ""YouTwitFace""."
"beluga whale backstroke and blowing water http://youtu.be/M6f1vovJTP4"
"I think unscented candles are bullshit... cuz every candle smells like something's burning. (Best read in a Hedberg voice.)"