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Joke of the Day

"The True Power of the Spacebar Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man afire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"LOWERCASE IS FOR THE LOWER CLASS That is an example of a capitalist."

"One of my nipples is a different color from the other two. Is this normal?"

"""Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies"" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight."

"[Scientist describing evolution of the zebra] ""We believe they were crime horses that stayed in jail for like a really, really long time."""

"""Can I have more of these mouse spears?"" ""Sir those are toothpicks"" ""I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"""

"The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World They have tiny elections every few hours. ;) if you know what I mean"

"If you make fun of Rod Blagojavich's hair, there'll be hell toupee."

"What did they call Jesus Christ when he was crucified? Holy"

"I organised a little surprise party for a girl from work. She didn't show - so I guess I'll just go back into her loft and wait."