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Joke of the Day

"Don't just upgrade Windows 8 Up-upgrade it."

"Why did everyone hate the shoe company? It had no soul."

"Student: ""May I go to the toilet?"" Teacher: ""What for?"" Student: ""To open the Chamber of Secrets"""

"What are the similarities between feminists and hobos? They both ask for change and never get any."

"Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children's bicycle, you're probably in a bad neighborhood."

"I've had a slight accident with your sleigh Father Christmas! Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition! That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!"

"Innuendos? I like to slip one in every now and again."

"I have no sense of decency. That way all my other senses are enhanced..."

"What happens when you spike Hawaiian Punch? It gets a lil' kick. :)"

"25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated."