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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you spike Hawaiian Punch? It gets a lil' kick. :)"

"*dies & becomes a ghost* Wow! The philosophical & theological repercussions of this are staggering! I've got to tell-- *is eaten by Pac-Man*"

"The best part of being incompetent to cook and feed myself is that when I travel I am positive I didn't leave the oven on."

"When Trump build a wall what would the US become? Attack on Titans..."

"Surprise your partner in bed by dying in your sleep"

"I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you"

"Why did the fatty cross the road? Because the free pizza wouldn't"

"Don't fret, I'll buy you a guitar, no strings attached. You might not want it because you're a little picky."

"Why can't vets use dank memes? Because they'd get fired for beating a dead horse."

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 2 am this morning and said, ""Yo, I can't fcking sleep."" ""Well it's your lucky day,"" I said, ""I've got a party going on in here, come in."""