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Joke of the Day

"Good rule of thumb: if you see an adult riding a children's bicycle, you're probably in a bad neighborhood."

"I live in a bizarre future where a featureless black slab suddenly starts glowing in order to inform me that the world likes my jokes"

"If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back."

"Life of a chef must suck. All your work eventually turns to shit."

"If you're American when you go into the toilet, and Asian when you come out, what are you on the toilet? European!"

"Who translated ""The Flat-Chested Woman"" from the original Russian? Vasily Bithertitoff"

"Fun fact: they used acronyms back in colonial times too but DOS meant Dead of Smallpox and LMFAO meant Lost My Farm and Outbuildings"

"How do you quiet a gay baby? Stick a pacifier up its ass"

"You may refer to him as Cap'n Crunch to others, but you must still salute him in person."

"I was gonna tell you a pizza joke... But it was too cheesy."