204618

Joke of the Day

"A man goes into a pharmacy And asks, Do you have pills for memory? The pharmacist says, Yes we do. And the man goes: You do what?"

"Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died."

"Mexican Magician The Mexican Magician says ""I will disappear at the count of three. Uno, dos..."" *POOF* And just like that, he disappeared without a tres."

"You can't live on Cheetos and Oreos alone. But God knows I've tried."

"Motivating words are harder with autocorrect... - Archive your dreams. - Be excrement to each other. - Nottingham is impossible. - The only thing standing in your way is autocorrect."

"I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams because she's a thirty foot half witch half crocodile who chases me endlessly through darkness."

"Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device."

"They say ""dress for the job you want,"" but this space suit chafes and I'm not convinced that Arby's is truly committed to a space program."

"He who farts in church Sits in his own pew"

"What is a Jewish person's first discount? 10% off the penis."