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Joke of the Day

"There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them. Or that you're in their house again."

"My office's password has been hacked. That's the third time i've had to rename the cat."

"Gifts for the family Nephew- iPod Son- iPhone Father- iPad Mother-iRon"

"Why was the garbage man afraid of the staff at the sex-change clinic? They give him the willies."

"My wife accused me of fogging up our bathroom mirror But I really can't see myself doing that."

"You know what we used to call vegetarians? Idiots that couldn't hunt or fish."

"If I knit you a sweater, Computer, will you stop freezing?"

"I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety."

"I am writing a book about the history of camping. It's all in past tents."

"Has anybody lost a large roll of 20 dollar notes in a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band"