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Joke of the Day

"OC: What does a limo driver and a hairy stripper have in common? They both get paid to chauffeur. (show fur)"

"Scientist have found out that birthdays are healthy. Scientists have discovered that people with more birthdays tend to live longer."

"Be sure to take the time to honor a soldier today by punching a politician in the face."

"Is there a shorter word for monosyllabic? Credit: Stephen Wright"

"If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza."

"As a bachelor I learned to separate my laundry into three piles; dirty, not so bad, and I could wear this another two three times if needed."

"I went the school of hard knocks... My knuckles are still sore."

"My psychic friend is really excited about this new year. You could say he's really looking forward to it."

"Can't wait to walk down the aisle. The frozen food aisle. Marry me, ice cream."

"Two guys were watching a marathon on tv. One says to the other, ""why are they running?"" ""to win the prize."" ""who will win the prize?"" ""the one who finishes first."" ""then why are the others running?"""