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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever read the serial number on a condom before? No? You have to unroll it 2 more inches!"

"I'll be honest, the only time I'd ever want to be 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' would be if I was chasing them With an axe."

"Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time."

"I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny."

"If you had sex 365 times in one year and melted the rubbers down to make a tire, what would you call it? A fucking Goodyear! ! !"

"Police Officer: ""Turn around!"" Me: *sings* ""Every every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round..."""

"Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5? Because it was pi-rated."

"What rock group has four guys and no singers? Mt. Rushmore! Happy presidents day! http://i.imgur.com/N8LF0HU.png"

"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."

"why does everyone scream when they see you? because your ugly!"