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Joke of the Day

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question: Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"One of my last days in town and my girlfriend asks me what I want to do, and I say we could just sit around. She says what will we sit around?"

"The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth."

"How do you get an anorexic chick in bed? Well, it ain't a piece of cake."

"Son, I found some drugs in your backpack ""Dad I swear they're not mine"" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it"

"Write a quickly escalating inappropriate joke"

"Q: What do sneezes wear on their feet? A: Ahhh-shoes."

"Poor Chinese tourists have to buy souvenirs in other countries made by themselves in China."

"The GPA is not my son... But I will raise it."

"""Well, my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape."" Bob Toblerone to rival chocolate manufacturer."