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Joke of the Day

"""Well, my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape."" Bob Toblerone to rival chocolate manufacturer."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quattro Sinko"

"One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol."

"A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill. Whoever lost a Rolex I report ""the time now is 20 minutes after seven"""

"What happens if Hillary Clinton gets so sick she dies before the general election? ...she goes to hell"

"Pokemon Go has really improved my life... I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside."

"If I had a dollar for every girl I fucked ... ... I would be still fucking poor!"

"I hate the part of the conversation where the other person says things."

"We've hired a new accountant. Her name is Helen Wait. Anyone expecting a check from us can go to Helen Wait."

"Angelina's Twins Photographed In Public For First Time"