204418

Joke of the Day

"*son wants to go to water park* *bring him to water park* *starts raining* *he starts crying..because he's getting wet* this is why I drink"

"I'm really sorry to hear about Donald Trump Nothing happened to him. I'm just sorry to hear about him."

"What do you call a penis with a doorbell? A ding dong."

"Facebook users are roaming the streets in tears, shoving photos of themselves in people's faces and screaming 'DO YOU LIKE THIS? DO YOU??'"

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."

"Did you hear about the Jewish kamikaze pilot? He crashed his plane into his brother's scrap yard."

"Since the presidential race has literally a dick measuring contest... who would win the election if the election is decided by dick measurements? Hillary Clinton of course!"

"What do you call a group of spoiled children? The government"

"Why were people milking cow upside down? Because the system went tits-up"

"I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?"