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Joke of the Day

"The other day, a frog jumped underneath my lawmower.. I guess he was trying to *kermit* suicide."

"Cat: ""What did you get him for his birthday?"" Dog: ""Pant . . . pant!"" Cat: ""Great . . . he needs a pair of pants!"""

"Just Netflixed ""2012."" Six Billion people dead at film's end. Was prepared because PG-13 rating warned of ""Mild Violence"""

"My stepfather, beating me black and blue, was no accident. Just a terrible faux pa."

"Hey Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sure Bert! XD"

"You want to know my favorite letter in the gangsta's alphabet? GHETT-O!"

"I like dating chicks with kids, because snacks"

"What is the most noble office supply? The ruler!"

"My friend Mark called me pretentious so I slapped him with my silk handkerchief."

"Court decision: ""I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair... ... What happens next will shock you"""