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Joke of the Day

"A feminist's view point. Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Feminist: The glass is being raped."

"I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single."

"How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips."

"What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer? A woolly bully!"

"What old-time song is the burgers' favourite? 'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!"

"in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18."

"If you want to piss off a fat person, just date their ex. They hate when someone messes with their leftovers"

"My sis just asked if sugar goes bad. Now I can't stop picturing it bullying the other spices and selling pot."

"How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. ""Cool, where'd you get that?"" says the bartender. ""Africa"", replies the parrot. ""They're all over the place."""