204417

Joke of the Day

"Dylann Roof was just sentenced to death.... Needless to say he was FLOORED by the news."

"When I die, I want to pass peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa. Not screaming at the oncoming truck like the rest of us in his car."

"Did you hear about the Mathematician who was constipated, and lost his calculator? He worked it out with a pencil"

"I organized a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."

"Did you know Kurt Cobain had dandruff? They found his Head & Shoulders behind the couch."

"What does a jello shot and my dick have in common? They're both only meant to be consumed by dumb drunk chicks."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available."

"I hate when people say ""Look at me when I'm talking to you."" I mean, c'mon, one inconvenience at a time."

"A man walks into an old club. ""Please, do not touch the artifacts"" says the archeologist."

"Found in a bar in Charleston... What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. * rim shot *"