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Joke of the Day

"Found in a bar in Charleston... What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. * rim shot *"

"Do you wanna here something ironic?? Iron Man is a Fe-male!"

"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"

"I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!"

"My friend said she likes Nickleback"

"A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Someone asked me what it's like now that I'm circumcized I told them I get a little less head."

"What do you get if you have unprotected sex in the ear? Hearing AIDS."

"I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen."

"I've been doing so much cardio that I'm going to have a heart attack And my hearts gonna win."