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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America?? Because Freedom rings! Happy Birthday U.S!"

"""And then she kissed the frog and saw him turn into a prince, because kissing frogs makes you hallucinate."" -me as a babysitter"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community... that would be a ""reservation reservation reservation"" ~ Brian Regan"

"Your momma is so fat That when she dies, the moon will finally be able to break orbit"

"After #Brexit, the pound crashed... ...it's down to ten ounces."

"Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read."

"I was pooping in a bathroom with no windows when the there was a power outage. When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit."

"DAD: You know, no one in this city is allowed to be buried in that cemetery ME: Wtf why not? DAD: Because *locking eyes* they're still alive"

"My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD Bin at Walmart...."