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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read."

"Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. I can't even satisfy myself with a family sized lasagne"

"Women want to be equal to men in every aspect except dating. You all want the same positions in the rest of the world but still expect to be wined and dined. How about steaks and bjs for the guys."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions."

"Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News"

"Have you heard about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines!"

"OBAMA IS COMING FOR YOUR GUNS!! ME: OMG *clutches guns* [7 years later] ME (frustratedly checking my watch): This guy is taking forever"

"I would really appreciate it if everyone great would stop dying"

"A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair, and a table."

"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""