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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Why didn't you obey that stop sign? Driver: I don't believe everything I read."

"What does a guy call his diabetic girlfriend? Sweet Pee"

"This just isn't my day... It could be raining t*tties and I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck..."

"Why couldn't Kim Kardashian see Caitlyn Jenner? Because she was trans-parent."

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous... The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."

"Why is Mike Pence magic? He can turn fruits to vegetables"

"Why did the plane crash??? The pilot was a load of bread!"

"Fun fact for you... 5 out of 4 people don't understand ratios..."

"Mullets: Business in the front. Party-at-a-mobile-home-til-5am-drinking-Pabst-then-go-home-&-get-arrested-for-domestic-violence in the back"

"Losing weight is so easy now. I'm just chasing the kids around all day - Jared Fogle"