11305

Joke of the Day

"I'm on pace to see 3.7 million Aflac commercials this college football season."

"I sexually identify as a brick. I'm always hard and I've only been laid once."

"Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the bathtub."

"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."

"Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore. Two more contests Hillary will win."

"Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street? They were arch enemies."

"What do you call a bagel that can fly? a plain bagel."

"Did you hear about the new cemetery? People are dying to get in."

"What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing? Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby."

"If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg."