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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a rapper who can only jerk off when he has like a TON of lube? Wetty Fap"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bag of shit? The bag."

"Which is the longest toilet in the world? Indian Railways"

"Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam."

"I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, ""Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."" He said, ""Well you were mythtaken."""

"Hey people that sit on planes not reading, listening to or watching anything: you look like serial killers."

"I always think of doing things for charity. Then, I get back from making a sandwich and I see there are 43 new tweets. Sorry, starving kids!"

"Why do African casinos always go out of business? Because there's too many cheetahs."

"TIL that Caligynephobia is the fear of beautiful women. So if a guy doesn't talk to you then he probably has Caligynephobia. It's the only explanation..."

"""Give me a positive adjective..."" ""Splendid."" ""Nice. Now how about a negative adjective?"" ""Splendidn't."""