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Joke of the Day

"TIL that Caligynephobia is the fear of beautiful women. So if a guy doesn't talk to you then he probably has Caligynephobia. It's the only explanation..."

"Whenever I see people exercising early in the morning I think, ""Wow! I'm so impressed I'm up this early!"""

"[At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh"

"flight attendant: sir, are you raising your hand me: how do i access the wifi fa: im doing safety announcements me: is that lowercase"

"Which doctors suffer the highest rates of depression and suicide? Dentists. They are down in the mouth all day."

"What is the difference? What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail"

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"

"I'm gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg! ""Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!"" Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship."

"What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand."

"(Grabs store intercom) Would whoever dropped the list with ""pizza"" and ""wine"" on it in the cart come to the front? We need to be friends."