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Joke of the Day

"Hey people that sit on planes not reading, listening to or watching anything: you look like serial killers."

"What did one beef patty say to the other beef patty? Will you be my grill friend?"

"This Dollar Store thesaurus sure is coming in... *shuffle shuffle* ...hippopotamus."

"Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*."

"Ghosts... I didn't believe in ghosts until this one night, it was like 3 am, and I decided to start believing in ghosts."

"My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son's Little League games ever since he learned he's in his second year of college."

"What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet have in common? They both had kurds in their way. (Curds in their whey.) ***This joke is phonetically superior to its' written version."

"At last, I finally got around to watching the new episode of ""Doctor Who"" ... ... it was about time."

"I invented a new word... Plagiarism."

"Why should Mexico accept Syrian refugees? With the level of crime and political violence, they will feel right at home."