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Joke of the Day

"I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, ""Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."" He said, ""Well you were mythtaken."""

"Liam Neeson: What I do have are a very particular set of skills. Me if I were the kidnapper: *is."

"*walks into hospital carrying baby* ""What's your return policy on this thing?"""

"[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD"

"What's the difference between hematologists and urologists? A hematologist pricks fingers."

"Trying to grab something out of my minivan while the automatic door is closing is the most Indiana Jones-y part of my day."

"For every cigarette you smoke God takes away 1 year of your life and gives it to Hugh Hefner."

"What did the Arab's father say when the teacher told him his son bombed the test? ""Thats great!"""

"There's no ""I"" in ""Illiteracy."""

"A local farmer just received an award from the city. It was for being outstanding in his field."