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Joke of the Day

"PBS is starting a new children's show... for kids along the Mexican-American border. It's called Maquiladora the Explorer."

"Charlie Sheen recently came out of the clinic That's what happens when you share tigers with Siegfried and Roy"

"I Farted... I farted infront of my Jewish friend and he got offended, i shrugged and said ""what? A little gas never killed anyone"""

"Turtle 911: Whats ur emergency? Turtle: MY GIRLFRIEND JUST DISAPPEARED! 911: Have u tried looking in her house? Turtle: oops never mind."

"Obesity doesn't run in your family - NO ONE runs in your family."

"After the American Revolution, Thomas Paine celebrates by purchasing a new pair of shoes. He declares that these are the times to try men's soles."

"To my fellow graduates; don't you forget about me Just something to instil into your simple minds. I am *not* proud of this."

"Donald Trump says that he plans to reduce inflation. Shortly after, Tom Brady announced his intent to vote for Trump."

"They still won't let me on Shark Tank with my feminine hygiene products with Yo Momma jokes printed on 'em. That shit's racist."

"The creepiest thing you can do is drive next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed."