204214

Joke of the Day

"There was a pretty girl in the produce section so to impress her I bought a mango"

"You drink WAY too much, and you have questionable morals . . . me talking to myself in the mirror before going out at night ."

"Why didn't Trump drown? Because shit floats."

"What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock? Ricky Retardo"

"How much does the average introvert weigh? Not enough to break the ice."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!"

"In recent years the number of UFO sightings has dropped because of the smart phone. Their users never look up."

"The new film coming out about a kid with cerebral palsy isn't doing well with critics . . . . . It gets off to a shaky start then ends up falling flat on it's face"

"What do you call a woman without a clitoris? Doesn't matter. She's not coming. Bonus: Check out the anti joke version on /r/antijokes."

"What happened when the lepers played poker? One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently."