200504

Joke of the Day

"What happened when the lepers played poker? One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently."

"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."

"I used to be a programmer But now I like ounces."

"A retard and a Christian walk into a bar.... the Christian says ""do you believe in god?"", and the retard says ""what do I look like? , some kind of retard?"""

"Have you heard the story about the suicide bomber? I haven't but I heard it is BLOWING up"

"Why can't American engineers design linear actuators? Because they always try to maximize the degrees of freedom."

"I wouldn't say I'm superstitious, just a little stitious."

"At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven't got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton."

"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"

"Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains? Mountains peak."