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Joke of the Day
"Nothing like a left handshake to make me wonder why you're weird."
Next Joke
"How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright? Shine a torch in her ear!"
"What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one."
"There's a German shepherd next door who keeps burying under my fence and shitting in the flower bed His dog is just as bad"
"Matthew McMonaughey's Lincoln doesn't make left turns... It just goes all right, all right, all right."
"'Pizza Hut, can I take your order?' Me: 'May I speak with the owl, please?' 'Who?' Me: 'Hahaha, that never gets old! Large pepperoni.'"
"Me: A wise man once said... Wife: STOP QUOTING YOURSELF!"
"Elliot Ness, Cookie Monster, and John Locke start a law firm. Locke Ness Monster."
"The problem with rich people is you're not one of them."
"What's the difference between a black guy and a bench A bench can support a family."