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Joke of the Day

"""Expecto me to be there"" Harry Potter RSVPing to a party"

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"Something I like to do when I'm voting is tell to turn to the person at the stall next to me and whisper, ""What did you put for number 3?"""
"I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. ... Wait."
"Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying ""sorry breaking up with you"" or that a minute later she text me back ""sorry wrong number."""
"Is Santa Clause real? Because the zero's on my bank statement are."
"What is Homer Simpson's favorite rapper? A. Butter Finger"
"What did the really ugly man do for a living? He posed for Halloween masks."
"I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies. Should've added the [Sirius] tag."
"My favorite pickup line... the Ford F Series"
"Damn girl, are you a 48-pack of frozen corn dogs? Because I thought it would last forever."