204194
Joke of the Day
"""Expecto me to be there"" Harry Potter RSVPing to a party"
Next Joke
"NEWSFLASH - Greece/Euro Announcement The EU has just announced that with immediate effect all Euro notes will be printed on Greece-proof paper"
"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty!"
"WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly 12 a stone ME: WIFE: 312 kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool"
"*pulls away from kissing, stares intently into his eyes Your eyes are like pools of melted chocolate Him: U started your diet, didn't u"
"[at parent-teacher night] Teacher:*looking at my coffee tumbler* I see you're a coffee enthusiast, too Me: Coffee? Oh...yeah, coffee*wink*"
"Thinking of donating my beard to charity because there's so much food in it."
"What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!"
"Just got kicked out of Walmart for having a concealed belly button."
"Dad: I'm so hungry. Me: Hi, so hungry I'm son! *Dad turns head very slowly* [camera cuts to Dad patting down pile of dirt with shovel]"