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Joke of the Day

"I was eating a piece of Gouda... And I was trying to describe it. I didn't want to say it was good because that would've been to cheesy."

"How do you get everyone in a chemistry department to kill themselves? Get them to unionize"

"What is 6"" long and not getting sucked this Valentine's day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe"

"What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans..."

"YOU: Please be aware-- ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a ""ware"""

"While vacationing in Turkey a second time, I couldn't keep the Arabic names straight, but I saw many familiar fezzes."

"Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken"

"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""

"What is your favorite one to two line joke? Keep em coming boys and gals. This is making my 15 car ride way better!"

"Took a career aptitude test. My results: sports team mascot, bridge troll, sign twirler, petting zoo shit shoveler"