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Joke of the Day
"What do Paint Samples and Michael Jackson have in common? They both come in little white cans..."
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"When a woman says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space & finish building my Death Star before we go."
"I left my job today. I couldn't work for that man anymore after what he said to me... ""You're fired!"""
"I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me what my greatest weakness is, I always want to say, ""Stairs""."
"Brazil is getting slaughtered I can't take it an Neymar"
"I couldn't afford a vanity license plate, so I named my dog 956 XDM."
"""I was thinking of all the shit I hate, so I made a list of all the shit I hate"" *notices you don't care *adds you to list of shit I hate"
"Life is like a box of chocolates. I don't have a box of chocolates."
"Who built King Arthur's round table Sir Cumference"
"What's the best way to remove a grass stain? Alcohol? I don't see how getting drunk will help, but whatever."