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Joke of the Day

"Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut the fuck up and dramatically lower your standards!"

"Just saw a spider scurry across the floor. It's too bad; I really liked living here."

"What do you call a crying anime fan... a weeaboo-hoo"

"Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket."

"What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat? A vegetarian."

"What has Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville got in common? They both fucked minors"

"There's no such thing as detoxing your body, but enjoy spending three hundred bucks on your diarrhea."

"What do programmers and obese people have in common? They both call an 8-course meal a bite."

"Okay, let's get this straight. There's no way EVERYONE has the best boyfriend in the world."

"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."